CBS MONDAY NIGHT PLOTLINES (11/4/13)

How I Met Your Mother -  Robin and Barney meet Barney’s estranged brother. Ted, Marshall, and Lilly’s  dinner plans with Marshall’s estranged brother are interrupted when Ted’s estranged brother shows up.

Two Broke Girls - The girls are infatuated with two men who have been hanging out at the diner. The men turn out to be their estranged brothers.

The Big Bang Theory - Penny gets groped by her estranged brother. Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard attend the annual Nuclear Physics Conference in Panama City, Florida. The conference is hosted by their estranged brothers.

Mom - Anna Faris has to balance family, dating, and work all while meeting her estranged brother.

Hostages - Dr. Ellen Sanders has to decide between saving her family, assassinating the president, and meeting her estranged brother.

The Late Show with David Letterman - First Guest: Dave’s estranged brother, Second Guest: Paul’s estranged brother, Musical Guest: The Avett Brothers’ Estranged Brothers

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Craig is replaced by his estranged brother. 

Just a few rookie agents trying to break into the biz.

How to Throw a Great Party

The key to any great party is friendly competition.

Be sure to have a game that everyone can enjoy. A game like “Can You Find Becca’s Purse” will surely have the entire party enthused. Simply have Becca announce, “O Shit! I can’t find my purse,” and your party patrons will enjoy hours of entertainment. If the game loses steam, Becca should shout, “If you find it, I will pay your cab fare.” The game will conclude with Becca realizing she left it at home because she didn’t want the creepy guy from work snooping around in it.


Music is REALLY the key to throwing a great party.

Forget Spotify playlists! The best music for a party will come from your drug dealing neighbor. Chances are that you have a neighbor that deals drugs and he’s probably been begging you to come see him DJ. You haven’t gone to see him because all of his shows have been in sketchy neighborhoods. Your party is the perfect place to finally see him perform. He is sure to have great taste for party jams because he’s done a lot of drugs and, you know, really thought about music.

If the crowd doesn’t enjoy his mixes of afrobeat and dubstep, just spread a rumor that he played Coachella in 2010. There is no way of proving this false. Your guests will surely be in awe of his pseudo-credentials and now say things like, “I really dig his use of deceptive cadence” and “This guy reminds me of Girl Talk but…he’s like…better.” Your party is now a hit.


Okay, stimulating conversation is TRULY the key to a great party.

Conversation that unites a crowd and develops new relationships must be the dream of anyone who wants to throw a party. The perfect way to do this is by inviting an acquaintance who is a little too proud of their recent accomplishments. This person will boast about the year he/she spent in Prague and the time he/she interned for Google. Guests will be united with conversations like:


Man with Beard Drinking a PBR: “I think I hate Rick.”

Woman with Pixie Cut and Horned Rim Glasses: “He’s kind of pretentious.”

Man with Beard Drinking a PBR: “Yeah. We should be friends.”

Woman with Pixie Cut and Horned Rim Glasses: “Eh. Sounds good.”


Friendships and alliances will form, as they always do, by having a similar enemy. Also, don’t feel sorry for Rick. He’s got a loft and a Prius that his parents provided him, so he’ll be alright.


Wait, Alcohol is the ONLY key to having a great party.

You’ve already told everyone that your party is BYOB and you’ve bought two cases of PBR just in case. However, you’re going to want a mixed drink that dazzles your guests. An easy drink to make on the cheap is called the “Thin Mint.” Take the hot cocoa mix that’s been in the back of your cupboard for a couple of years and mix it with your roommate’s Listerine. She won’t notice it’s missing because she’s out of town and that’s the reason you’re throwing this party.


Enjoy your rise up the social ladder!

Best Batman fight scene!

Ten Movie Related Titles for My Member

1) The Last Action Hero

2) The Driver

3) Battlefield Girth

4) The Sweetest Thing… because you can’t believe you’ve seen it more than once.

5) An Aronofsky Film… After seeing it you won’t be able to think straight for a week.

6) James Franco… because it’s been in everything lately.

7) Wreck-It Ralph

8) Jarhead…this one’s more of a mental image.

9) Trouble with the Curve…All of us deal with this. Right, guys?

10) MacGruber… because it’s extremely underrated.

I will treat myself to some illegal Back to the Future Part Two.

I will treat myself to some illegal Back to the Future Part Two.

None Of The Above isn’t a very popular game. It must be an educational one.

None Of The Above isn’t a very popular game. It must be an educational one.

Basically Non-Sense

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